If you ask the twins what they want to do on Christmas both unilaterally exclaim, “Snuggle and play with momma and da-da at the water.” It’s that simple, really, and this Christmas my wife decided that’s just what we will do, with zero regrets. Since we started dating we have spent every Christmas with her family and it was a tradition we loved. As kind and accommodating as both of her families can be — it is no picnic to be in a new place with twins. Sleep is totally wrecked and constant pressure that is continually put on us for the small time we must visit everyone. Instead of making it seem like they are thankful for the many hours traveled to be with loved ones, it becomes an anxiety-inducing get away for my wife. It becomes filled with friction over time spent with people who are all deserving and worthy of being in our lives. This year, mom is placing relaxation, new traditions, and purposeful time together as the premium for her 3 boys. Let me tell you, doing something like that is not as easy as it sounds. The holidays — and how to spend them — can be a really charged issue for people. There is guilt. There is pressure. Not everyone gets your reasoning, and some are more than happy to argue with you. I will admit there is something special about spending holidays with extended family, and I will miss it . My children’s relationship with their aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents is something I love watching and something I want them to cherish for the rest of their lives. But there is something equally magical about spending the holidays in the privacy of your own home, with your most immediate family, and that has become our norm. Honestly? I wouldn’t change it for the world. A “just us” holiday means everyone staying up late, eating popcorn, and watching my wife’s favorite Claymation Christmas films (this is VERY important to her) and our favorite Christmas comedy 4 Christmases, while the kids fall asleep in your arms. Then you carry them quietly to bed, collapsing with them and snuggling till morning. It means waking up on Christmas morning all together, eating leftover cookies for breakfast, and knowing you have nowhere to be, no one to please, and no one who cares if you’re wearing pants or not. It means baking together in your pj’s and not worrying about messing up anyone else’s kitchen. It means not having to deal with 150 different personalities and all their preferences about how holiday traditions should unfold. It means getting to enjoy all the time off from work you have, not losing any time packing or traveling, and getting to spend every lazy moment with your family. It means less stress — with a capital “S.” Because why the heck should the holidays be about that anyway? And yes, it sometimes means breaking traditions . But it also means starting traditions of your own, ones that you and your children will remember for a lifetime. So, if you feel bogged down by family obligations during the holiday season and feel that spending time at home, with just your immediate family, is what you and your kids would like best, just do it. Cut the cord. Do it your way. I can guarantee you that it will be just as magical as you imagined it would be. Doesn't mean your mom and I will not be sad or drop hints of what you will miss out on, when it is time for you to make this decision as an adult, but we will understand. At the least just show us this letter. We started it on Thanksgiving and it was divine. Extended family can still be a part of the tradition (Thank you FaceTime, Zoom and Amazon Echo Show). The reason for the season is celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ our Lord, and what did He do? He spent his first moments with his immediate family, and the animals of the stable.
There will be many things missed like gathering on Christmas Eve with Granny's family and certainly Guppy’s prime rib with Mimi’s homemade horseradish sauce. My mouth is salivating. Moving forward your mom has requested, we wake up on the beach each Christmas, (why have such a blessing and not use it for cool traditions as Christmas?) dad begin the tradition of making a huge pot of chili for Christmas followed by chess pie, red velvet cream cheese filled cookies, and strawberry pretzel salad dessert. What you can learn from this is that you do not need permission to make tough decisions as long as you are doing it for the right reasons. That is why your mom made me fall in love with her all over again. When we first met, your mom was not strong-willed enough to make decisions like these. This was a tough and talked about decision, we as a family have made, but it was certainly coming and needed.
Comments