1. BLACK LIVES MATTER
2. DIFFERENCES are Beautiful. However, you will never know unless you get out of your “bubble.”
3. The white bubble: Human beings naturally seek out similarities especially economically, in neighborhoods, and peer groups to name a few.
The sociological term is “homophily”—similarity breeds affection—and the implications are rarely positive. White Americans have 90 times more friends that look exactly like them compared to Black, Asian, or Hispanic friends, according to one analysis from the Public Religion Research Institute. That’s not a description of a few liberal elite cliques. It’s a statistic describing the social networks of 200 million people. America is bubbles, all the way down. And the bubble needs to burst.
My wife and I decided to intentionally go into career fields that help people that do not look like us. The same goes to how we raise our twins. Which leads to a few answers that help burst the bubble? Although we live in a nice house and neighborhood, we intentionally moved to a side of town that many told us you “don’t want to live there” “the schools are filled with them.” When choosing a pediatrician, we chose purposefully someone that does not look like us. So that our twins could be touched, loved on, and cared for at a young age by someone beautiful. Our friendships span across the globe and certainly span somewhere from 70-80% of people who do not look like us. And let me tell you it is fucking BEAUTIFUL. The culture, history, traditions, values, and the food is better than any privileged white shit I have ever came across. Do yourself a favor and burst your damn bubble.
4. White privilege: Oh, it is real! Growing up in a trailer and poor I used to be ashamed to admit it for years. Why? Due to being different versus those in my bubble. I related more to people who did not look like me. Yet, I did not and cannot experience their PAIN. There is so much PAIN in history that does not get taught adequately, so much PAIN that still goes on, and so much PAIN that will continue without systemic changes.
Still don’t think white privilege exists. Let me point out my profession that I have no problem speaking up about. Basketball-College Basketball! The FBI Scandal! Who has kept their jobs and who took the fall? The white head coaches remain in charge like they were clueless what was happening. While Black coaches were the culprits who were in court and lost jobs. Folks come one now. Should I continue? There are things I am afraid of for my twins, but nothing compares to the 10-12 players I am blessed to coach every year. After practice there is a multitude of things that are out of my control. It is why I sleep lightly every night in fear that my phone will ring because one of them went for a run or went to a park to practice on what America deems “the only true ticket out of the hood” and now they are gone. This all leads me to struggling with navigating how I provide things for my own twins, that I never had. It is a fine line of giving them access to life without struggling or eating macaroni and cheese for 3-4 days like my single mother and I did. All the while instilling them with hard-work, diversity, and not letting them become white brats in a society filled with many.
5. Here is the beauty in knowing where I stand. It doesn’t bother me if you disagree. You are entitled to that viewpoint. Just like I am entitled to volunteer in my community to create change and display love. However, none of this is about me, the people who look like me, or our opinions. It solely is about letting those who have been oppressed, who have been profiled, who have the actual pain from the injustices to have their time, their voice, their worries, and their mother-fucking rights heard. For the same reason, the work I have done for the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion office in my community will never have my name on it and that is beautiful. It was done for others and not for my ego or gain. It was announced so that people could reach out to voice opinions, have a safe place for discussions that are painful in an area with no judgement. It is time for me to apologize. Even on my best days I am at fault for having blind spots. Whether it be when dating someone who didn’t look like me and taking the charge when people said racist remarks or when driving with men who did not look like me and getting pulled over. Taking the lead with law enforcement like a “white savior” essentially removing you as if you did not exist. Because you do, and you should be viewed on the same level no different than anyone else. Just this week asking friends if when we were going to rally. Instead of asking them “May I join you in your fight while you lead?” For anytime some cracker, cracked a joke and I did not sufficiently stand up and educate them. Please forgive me.
If you have decided to stick around and read to this point, thank you. During all this chaos, so many people have reiterated that they do not know the answer or answers. Yes, you do! Look in the mirror. It starts with you! Take the time to educate yourself: look at sesame street kids do not inherent a racist gene. Sesame has a plethora of colors, kids with disabilities, and songs from country to hip hop. The show is the epitomy of inclusion. Listen to music that has substance, tells stories that are in contrats to the community you live in. If you do not think our judicial system has a problem of putting "black men" in jail you might be the problem. Can you imagine if Larry Nassar or Jerry Sandusky were "black" men? Share books like A Is for Activist by Innosanto Nagara or Mary Hoffman’s Amazing Grace with youngsters. For adults, read White Fragility by Robin Diangelo, Caste and class in a Southern Town by John Dollard, So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo to name a few. Or here is a novel idea, make a friend who looks different and learn from them. If you have the intestinal fortitude watch the George Floyd and Ahmaud Arbery murders, yes, murders. They are horrifying and make anyone with a heart for human beings, even stone-cold soldiers wrench in pain and disgust. If it doesn’t you are the problem!
Comments